One of the things I noticed growing up was those I knew who had been to War, Korea, WWII never spoke of their time there. Even when asked, they usually just somehow kind of passed it off and never ended up saying much.
In the years since I served in Vietnam, I've found I do the same. Often I have asked myself, "Why?" I don't really know, but I've settled on the idea it's because civilians, who have never experienced combat can't really associate with what one is saying or sharing. I don't know that to be true, but just figured it to be true.
I have a friend, a sister-in-law to a service wife I've know for years. And when I posted some of the statistics about Vietnam casualties who are on the Vietnam Wall just prior to Pearl Harbor day she wrote and asked me why I posted it at that time. Don't ask me why, I don't know, but because of the type of person she is, I shared not only the why of the post, but went on to share a story from Vietnam. She understood, not just in her mind, but in her Heart. So, I want to share this email with you.
"I received that from my cousin who was also in the Navy and served during Vietnam. He said he hoped others would not just focus on Pearl Harbor tomorrow, but remember all the wars this nation has fought and the losses we’ve experienced in human lives. Did you know we’ve been in twelve different wars since we fought the British in the Revolutionary War? (Revolutionary War: 1775-1783; Indian Wars: 1780’s-1800; War of 1812: 1812-1815; Mexican War: 1846-1848; Civil War: 1861-1865; Spanish-American War: 1898; Philippine Insurrection: 1899-1902; WW I: 1917-1918; WW II: 1941-1945; Korean War: 1950-1953; Vietnam War: 1965-1973; Gulf War/Iraq: 1991--??)."
She also asked me if I'd served in Vietnam. My reply, "Yes, I served in Vietnam three different tours. The first in 1967, and the last when the peace accords were signed. If I may, I’ll share a story with you not many are aware of. Before I went over the second time, in the training for our new aircraft the A-7 several of us went through the training together. One was a gent named Phillip Clark. We called him Flip. While in training, he learned his wife had breast cancer. They fought it, but back then we didn’t have all the knowledge we have today, and so the day after Christmas of 1971 she passed away. They had two little kids, a daughter and son. We took care of them on weekends so he could spend time with his wife at the hospital. As a single parent, he could have certainly asked not to go to Vietnam, but he felt a strong commitment to serve his country as had his father."
"On Christmas Eve of 1972 our Carrier (Enterprise) had the day off, but we still always kept aircraft ready to launch in the event of emergencies. Just about dinner time we were called and told an aircraft had been shot down in the islands just south of Haiphong Harbor, and they sounded the alarm to launch the Rescap (Rescue Combat Air Patrol) aircraft. Another gent and I were on standby, ran up, and launched. We spent several hours looking for the pilot in the islands, but unfortunately did not find him. As darkness closed around us we angrily gave up our search and returned to Danang since our carrier was not operating."
"The next day, Christmas day 1972, we returned to the carrier. It was then during the debrief of our mission from the previous day I learned the downed pilot was Phillip “Flip” Spratt Clark Jr. My squadronmate who had lost his wife the previous year to cancer. Flip’s children were staying with their grandparents who ended up raising them. I’ve been to the Wall in D.C. and to the traveling wall three different times, and always go spend time with Flip. I think of the sacrifice of that family, of two little kids growing up, not only without parents, but really never knowing a lot about who their parents really were, what they believed, what their values were. Each year on Veteran’s day I’ve written letters to his hometown paper telling about his sacrifice. Never knew if they were published. That was before internet. And of course on Christmas Eve I try to spend a few moments, off to myself, remembering I’m with family, but his family is not with him and his wife."
"A few years back when they finally posted the names on the internet of all those on The Wall, I looked it up. There were a couple of omissions and one or two small errors for Flip, so I added a comment and corrected those. Two years ago I received a note from someone who had found my additions, and written because she wanted to know if there was more I could tell her about “her dad”. Shannon was in Northern Idaho visiting her “mom” grandmother, and came across the notes. Of course I wrote back, and we’ve remained in contact. Unfortunately she was headed back to Southern California the day we talked on the phone. Proudly, I learned her brother, Terry had gone into the Navy, and as did his father, went into aviation and became a Navy pilot, Terry flying F-14 Tomcats. Sadly, she also shared he’d been killed in an aircraft crash off Southern California in 1996. So while I very sincerely appreciate your thanks for my service, I feel just a little embarrassed in accepting when there are other families who have given so much more than I did. But I will accept the big bear hug, because when I think of Flip and his family I really need a hug."
"May I also say thanks to you, because without people like yourself, we who serve could not and would not do it. It’s folks like you who make it worthwhile, knowing you are here and acknowledge and appreciate what we as Americans have because others have served. Thank you very much, and God Bless you. Love to you and your family. VR. Mags"
It took awhile for a response to come back from my friend, but when I received it, I understood why the delay, "I never responded to the story you shared because I could not think of words to say...Christmas Eve is almost upon us and I wonder ... I wonder so many things... about you and about Shannon and her brother. The story haunts me. While I sit in church on Christmas Eve and again Christmas morn, I will remember...and whisper my thanks to your friend and hero and his wife...and I will continue to wonder..."
Thank you Lee. I wish there were more people like you in this world. People who do wonder about events, about life, about what happens and has happened to others. Thank you very much for asking me to share. I realize it is better having someone to share the loss of this family and that many more prayers for them is better than just mine. VR. Mags.
