As the few of you who read my blog already know, I've been carrying the family torch for genealogy for about ten years. Because those who are interested are members of the site and log in occasionally, I don't tend to mention much here. However, last year we added new family, and as a result I got to get on the Road to go meet them.
I've got a shirttail cousin in Alabama who I've only met online. She and I crossed paths because she was researching the family of the wife of my dad's older brother. So, she's got one Shaw in her tree and that's Uncle Ralph. This summer she sent me an email and said she'd been contacted by a gent helping his 80 year old father try to find his roots which were biologically a Shaw. He found Ralph in her tree. Donna put him in contact with me. So, I managed to hook up with young Don.
The story starts like this: "My dad is looking for his biological father, but only the father knows he's really my dad's father, and he passed away about thirty years ago. My dad Don was born out of wedlock as a result of their friendship." WOW! Turns out dad (Don Sr.) is in his early eighties. He can tear down and rebuild a diesel engine in one day, and in fact still does that three or four days a week. In his life time he's owned a trucking company, hauled dynamite for the government back during the war, and if you don't count the working because he enjoys it, is retired.
So I asked to be able to talk to him, and Don Jr. said not an issue, he got involved because dad didn't do the computer technology stuff. When I phoned, I had him on speaker as I started talking with him. Deb came running into the kitchen where I was. With one of the strangest looks on her face she whispers, "I'd have sworn you were talking with your dad!" I guess that was the first positive input. So I proceeded to take the normal precautions, and asked lots of questions. Let him know I'd need to research enough to feel confident he was actually the son of my Uncle. And, also said if the girls don't want to meet him, then that's it. He agreed.
Well, everything started to fit with what I knew, and the dates and locations matched up, but when he forwarded pictures of himself that was the final cap. He was definitely a Shaw. But, why he waited until 80 years old to find his dad's family is "...the rest of the story!"
So, asked Don Sr about that and here's the details. His mom and her sister used to go to the Grange Hall Dances out by Graham, WA. (Positive #2.) That was where my dad Hap met mom. Turns out his mom didn't want to have Don pursue a relationship (more on that in a minute) so much of Don's info came from his mom's sister his aunt. Turns out they met two guys who were brothers, the one they called Happy (my dad, Positive #3). His mom and my uncle dated, and then my Uncle left that spring to go back and work the wheat in Nebraska like they did every year. Don's mom told him my Uncle knew she was pregnant. When Uncle returned from the wheat that fall, he met and married his wife of over 50 years with whom he had two daughters.
Don was only a year or two when his mom married, so he grew up thinking that was his biological father. When he was in high school, mom and dad showed up with papers one day for the school to witness: Don's dad was adopting him. First he knew dad wasn't biological. When my Uncle died in the early 80's, his mom came to him with the obit out of the paper, told him that was his real dad but she didn't want him to contact him. (Because she was pregnant out of wedlock, her dad sent her off to the Sister's Home for Unwed Mothers in Tacoma. It was a pretty tough emotional trip for her.) Then in 1994 when my dad died she brought him the obit and said this was the brother they called Happy. His mom lived until 2007, and he honored her wishes. But, as he was reaching his 80s he realized he really wanted to know the two daughters mentioned in the 1981 obituary. That's when he asked Don Jr. to start the search.
Eventually feeling pretty comfortable with the details I contacted the younger sister who was my age. Had to laugh, the Shaws are all so "no nonsense" nothing surprises them, call it like it is. When I reached my cousin, asked her if she was sitting down. Her response, "Who died?" Told her no one, but had some info, wanted to give her the short version, if she didn't care to hear more we'd let it go at that. She said go ahead. I told her it appears to all possible research I'd done that the girls had a half brother. Her response, "Mom or daddy?" Just wish I'd been there to give her a hug and a big smile. That's just so typical. So gave her the long version.
They have since met, and are working on planning more get togethers. I made a rode trip over to the area and met Don for dinner, then went back down to Don Jr.'s for a lunch a few days later and spent more time talking. We've since stayed with Don Sr's wife, he was in Los Angeles moving a flight similator for Boeing -- at 82 still getting major requests.
When we had the first dinner, asked him to meet me at my daughter-in-law's restaurant. Asked if he knew where it was. "Yep, we eat there frequently!" You've got to be kidding me, he's been eating at a relatives restaurant ever since she opened it. AND, when he was hauling dynamite, he was driving with my daughter-in-law's business partner in the restaurant. Yes, small world.
Gee, I haven't talked to Don in a couple of weeks, guess I'll go call him right now. And now you know the rest of the story!
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